<![CDATA[MISMA COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY SERVICES

<![CDATA[MISMA COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY SERVICES - Blog & Podcast]]>Tue, 31 Mar 2026 18:51:57 +0100Weebly<![CDATA[A Rhythm That Took Time]]>Sun, 29 Mar 2026 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/a-rhythm-that-took-timeOn Building a Sustainable Life in Therapeutic Practice

There is a kind of rhythm in life that I have come to understand cannot be rushed.

It is not something I found quickly, not something I could have planned at the beginning of my work. It has taken time - years of being in practice, of adjusting, and of learning what it means to live alongside the work that I do.

This has not develop in isolation from the rest of my life. Alongside my work, I have also been navigating family life, with its own demands, responsibilities, and moments that require attention and care. Over time, I have come to understand that a sustainable rhythm is not one that fits around work alone, but one that can hold the whole of life.

In my work as a therapist, I spent much of my time holding others - their experiences, their emotions, and the complexities they bring into the room.

For a long time, my focus was on how to do this well.

Only over time did another question begin to take shape for me:

What sustains me in doing this work, over time?

I have come to understand that this work cannot be sustained by efforts alone.

There were periods where I extended myself - working more, giving more, trusting that I would recover later. And while this was possible for a time, it was not something I could continue in the long term without noticing its impact.

In the consulting room, I have often seen a similar pattern.

People can continue for a long time by relying on capacity - meeting expectations, holding responsibility, and adapting to what is needed of them. From the outside, it can appear as though things are being managed well.

But underneath, there is often a quieter layer - fatigue, pressure, or a sense of disconnection that has not yet found words.

What began to change for me was not the work itself, but how I structured my life around it.

Gradually, I began to put in place something that felt more containing.

I reduced and contained my working days.
I began to protect time away from practice.
I allowed for regular breaks across the year.
And I started to build moments of stillness into my day.

These changes did not happen all at once. They developed over time, often through recognising what was not sustainable.

Alongside this, something shifted internally.

Beginning my day with reflection and prayer has become an important part of how I orient myself. It allows me to start from a place that feels grounded, rather than immediately entering into doing.

It does not remove the demands of the work, but it changes how I meet them.

In my clinical work, I have noticed how unfamiliar this can feel for many.

To pause.
To rest.
To not be constantly responding.

For some, rest can bring discomfort rather than relief. It can feel undeserved, or even unsettling, as though something should be done instead.

This is something I have also had to come to understand in myself - not simply as an idea, but as a lived process.

What has emerged from this is not a prefect routine, but a rhythm that feels sustainable.

A way of living that allows me to move between:

being present with my clients
and returning to myself
between giving
and restoring

Over time, my focus has changed.

I no longer think in terms of how much I can take on, but what I can sustain.

Work feels more contained.
Rest feels less like something I need to earn.
And my relationship with time feels more deliberate.

This does not mean the work becomes easier.

There are still sessions that feel full, complex, and emotionally demanding.

At times, I leave the room holding something of what has been shared - feelings that do not belong to me, but have been entrusted to me for a time.

Having a rhythm outside of the work allows these experiences to settle, rather than accumulate.

I have also come to understand that sustainability in this work is not only practical- it is ethical.

Because how I care for myself is closely linked to how I am able to be present with others.

What I have now is not something I arrived quickly.

It has taken time to build.

And it is something I continue to recognise, protect, and return to.

If you are finding yourself questioning how to sustain your work, your relationships, or your way of living, this may be something that can be explored - with time, and with support.

]]><![CDATA[When Christmas Stirs Deep Feelings]]>Fri, 28 Nov 2025 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/when-christmas-stirs-deep-feelings

Image: Google

The Christmas period is often associated with heightened affective states. Culturally, it is framed by images of family gatherings, warmth, and shared ritual. While these representations can be reassuring for some, they may also activate deeper psychological materials for others - including early relational memories, unmet development needs, unresolved grief, or a heightened longing for connection that becomes more salient during this time of year.

In clinical practice, it is evident that the holiday season can amplify underlying emotions dynamics. Christmas, in particular, often functions as a reflective surface through which internal states and relational patterns become more visible. The season does not solely evoke celebration; it also evokes remembering. In this process of reminiscence, individuals frequently re-encounter formative relational experiences and longstanding intrapsychic patterns that have shaped their development trajectory.

Unseen Narratives That Emerge During the Holiday Season

The holiday period frequently reopens internal spaces that are not often accessed in day-to-day life. Memories - at times warm, at times painful or confusing- tend to emerge with greater clarity. Seasonal cues such as lights, music, and familiar rituals can evoke longings for joy, safety, connection, and emotional attunement, while simultaneously drawing attention to the absence of these experiences.

For many individuals, loneliness during Christmas takes on a particular intensity. The quietness of the season, the contrast with other's visible celebrations, and the stillness characteristic of this time of year can mobilise earlier relational wounds. Loneliness, in this context, is rarely a purely present-moment affect; rather, it serves as an entry point into earlier experiences of being left, neglected, abandoned, or emotionally unacknowledged. These recollections often become more pronounced in December, bringing into awareness longstanding pains that may continue to shape one's current emotional spectrum.

Reactivation of Early Attachment Wounds

For individuals whose development environments were marked by emotional confusion, neglect, relational harm, or chronic conflict, the Christmas period can reactivate early attachment-based vulnerabilities. This may manifest as:

an enduring longing for closeness that was never adequately met
a sense of exclusion or marginalisation, even when physically present within the family system
a habitual tendency to regulate or manage other's emotions in order to maintain relational stability
a persistent fear of disappointing significant others or being rejected

These affective responses are not merely seasonal fluctuations; they are linked to internalised relational templates and attachment experiences that remain active within the psyche. The cultural emphasis on family, intimacy, and togetherness during the holiday period can render these early wounds more accessible and emotionally charged - often bringing the internal child into sharper proximity to conscious awareness.

Grief and Disenfranchised Losses

Grief often becomes more pronounce during December. While the external environment is characterised by celebration and sociocultural emphasis on joy, an individual's internal world may feel weighted, immobilised, or emotionally muted. The season can bring absences into sharper relief - an empty seat at the table, a ritual that can no longer be enacted, or the silence of a voice that once provided comfort or meaning.

Importantly, grief is not limited to the loss of a person through death. It frequently manifest in more complex and less visible forms, such as grief for development needs that were not met in childhood; grief for a caregiver who was physically present but emotionally unavailable; grief for family relationships marked by chronic mis-attunement, conflict, or rupture; or grief for earlier version of the self who held aspiration for a different kind of Christmas.

Such subtle and disenfranchised losses tend to surface with particular clarity during the holiday period, when cultural narratives highlight togetherness, belonging, and emotional warmth. Within a therapeutic setting, these experiences can be articulated, organised, and symbolically contained - facilitating a process through which they can be recognised, integrated, and worked through rather than silence endured.

A Season That Asked for Psychological Kindness

Image: Google

The holiday period does not necessitate the performance of joy or the fulfilment of external expectations that are incongruent with one's internal emotional state. Clinically, this time of year can instead serve as an opportunity to slow down and attune to the more vulnerable aspect of the self - the tired, convicted, hopeful, or ambivalent part that often remain in the background of everyday functioning.

For some individuals, a quieter or more contained approach to the season may be psychologically protective. Others may benefit from establishing new rituals, creating intentional distance from historically challenging environments, or prioritising rest as a way to regulate affect and maintain emotional equilibrium. Therapeutically, it is important to recognise that healing does not always align with festive expressions; at times, it involves making choices that enhance safety, stability, and self-regulation.

In this context, reflective questioning can support the process of internal inquiry such as:

What am I feeling drawn toward this year?
What memories are emerging, and how it might be surfacing now?
How can I soften rather than push myself through?

These questions function less as prompts for immediate answers and more as invitations toward curiosity, self-awareness, and compassionate engagement with one's internal world.

Holding Ourselves with Compassion

Image: Google

From a psychodynamic perspective, the holiday season frequently reactivates early attachment dynamics, including the internalised experiences of the child self who may still hold memories of being unseen, unheard, or emotionally alone. The therapeutic task is not to suppress these affective states but to engage with them - to understand their origins, their relational meaning, and the ways they continue to shape present experience.

Christmas does not need to approximate an idealised version of family or intimacy that was never available. Instead, it can become a psychological space in which emotional truths are permitted to emerge without judgement. Within this frame, seemingly opposing affective states - joy and sorrow, presence and absence, hope and grief - can coexist as part of the complexity of the human experience rather than as contradictions to be resolved.

Holding oneself with compassion may involve acknowledging that certain feelings recur annually, recognising established defensive patterns that function to protect the psyche, or understanding the persistence of longing for connection. Such reflective engagement represents a movement toward greater emotional openness, intrapsychic integration, and a more authentic relationship with one's internal world.

A Tender Mirror

Christmas can function as a tender reflection surface, bringing into view both our longing for connection and the complexities inherent in our relational histories. When approached with curiosity rather than judgement, this reflection creates space for compassion, nuanced understanding, and form of self-care that are responsive to our internal needs.

]]><![CDATA[Anger and Trauma: A Psychodynamic Exploration of Pain, Defence, and Healing]]>Tue, 18 Feb 2025 12:02:31 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/anger-and-trauma-a-psychodynamic-exploration-of-pain-defence-and-healing

Image : Google

Anger is often perceived as an emotion to be controlled, suppressed, or avoided. In many cultures and families, people are taught from a young age that expressing anger is unacceptable or dangerous. However, from a psychodynamic perspective, anger is rarely just about a present situation—it is often rooted in deeper, unresolved emotional wounds, particularly those linked to trauma.

In my practice, I frequently work with clients who experience anger in ways that feel overwhelming, confusing, or even frightening. Rather than seeing anger as a problem to be "fixed," I encourage slowing down, reflecting, and exploring its origins. When we understand anger as a response to trauma, it can become a gateway to healing rather than a force of destruction.

Understanding Anger Through a Trauma Lens

Trauma, whether from childhood neglect, abuse, violence, relational wounds, or overwhelming life events, has a profound impact on the nervous system and emotional regulation. Trauma survivors often experience heightened emotional reactivity, difficulty trusting others, and a deep-seated fear of vulnerability. Anger, in this context, serves multiple psychological and physiological functions:

1. A Defence Against Pain
Many trauma survivors use anger as a shield against deeper feelings of hurt, sadness, rejection, or helplessness. If expressing vulnerability was unsafe in the past, anger can feel like the only way to maintain control.

2. A Response to Perceived Threats
Trauma alters the brain’s threat-detection system, often leaving survivors hypervigilant and reactive. Even situations that are not inherently dangerous can trigger intense anger if they unconsciously resemble past threats.

3. A Manifestation of Unmet Needs
Chronic anger can be a sign that a person’s fundamental needs—for safety, validation, love, and respect—were not met in early relationships. This can create a pervasive sense of injustice, leading to resentment or outbursts in adulthood.

4. A Means of Self-Preservation
Some individuals, particularly those who experienced prolonged trauma or abuse, may rely on anger as a survival strategy. If expressing sadness or fear led to harm in childhood, anger may become the default response to any situation of perceived vulnerability.

Different Ways Anger Manifests After Trauma

Anger does not always look the same. Depending on the individual’s history, attachment style, and defence mechanisms, it can take different forms:

Explosive Anger – Some trauma survivors experience sudden, intense outbursts of anger that feel uncontrollable. This often happens when deep emotional wounds are triggered, bringing unresolved pain to the surface.

Passive Anger – Others may not express anger outwardly but instead turn it inward, leading to self-criticism, depression, or self-destructive behaviours. Repressed anger can manifest in physical symptoms such as chronic pain, headaches, or digestive issues.

Resentment and Bitterness – Unprocessed trauma can lead to long-standing resentment, where individuals feel trapped in their past, unable to let go of the pain caused by others. This can impact relationships, work, and overall well-being.

Fear of Anger – Some individuals are afraid of their own anger because they associate it with danger or past abuse. They may suppress their emotions to avoid confrontation, only for them to resurface later in unexpected ways.

Image: Google

Anger in the Therapeutic Relationship:
A Psychodynamic Perspective

In therapy, anger can provide valuable insight into a client’s past relational experiences. Many clients unconsciously recreate past dynamics in the therapeutic relationship, allowing for exploration of how their anger was (or was not) processed in earlier relationships.

Fear of Expressing Anger
Some clients struggle to express anger in therapy because they fear rejection or retaliation. Exploring these fears can uncover deeper relational patterns and offer opportunities for healing.

Transference and Anger
Clients may direct anger towards the therapist, reflecting unresolved emotions towards caregivers or authority figures. For example, if a client experienced neglect in childhood, they may perceive the therapist as distant or unresponsive, triggering anger that stems from past wounds.

Anger as a Pathway to Emotional Integration
In a safe therapeutic setting, clients can begin to explore their anger without shame or fear. By working through these emotions, they can develop a healthier relationship with anger and learn to express it in constructive ways.

Healing Anger: Moving from Reaction to Reflection

One of the core aspects of trauma recovery is learning to engage with anger differently—not as something to suppress or act on impulsively, but as an emotional signal that offers valuable information. Developing Emotional Awareness - Many trauma survivors struggle to identify the emotions underlying their anger. In therapy, I often encourage clients to pause and to reflect upon these emotion. By slowing down and reflecting, anger can become a doorway to deeper self-understanding.

Reprocessing Trauma - Unresolved trauma keeps the nervous system stuck in a heightened state of arousal. By revisiting painful memories in a safe and contained way, clients can begin to release the emotional charge that fuels reactive anger. Psychodynamic therapy, particularly through free association and exploring unconscious material, helps clients recognise patterns that were previously outside their awareness. This allows them to rewrite their internal narratives and move towards emotional integration.

Exploring Healthy Expression of Anger - Not all expressions of anger are harmful. In fact, anger can be a force for empowerment and boundary-setting when channelled appropriately. Therapy can help clients explore ways to express anger without guilt or aggression, such as:
Writing about their emotions in a reflective journal, practising assertive communication rather than suppressing emotions. Using movement, art, or music to process and release anger. Or developing mindfulness techniques to regulate emotional intensity

Rebuilding a Secure Relationship with Emotions - For many trauma survivors, anger is tied to feelings of shame or unworthiness. Part of the healing process involves developing self-compassion - recognising that anger is a valid and natural response to past pain. When individuals learn to hold space for their emotions with curiosity rather than judgment, they develop a more secure and integrated sense of self.

Final Thoughts

Anger, when viewed through a psychodynamic and trauma-informed lens, is not merely a problem to be "managed" but an important emotional response that carries meaning. It often signals deeper wounds—betrayal, injustice, abandonment, neglect or unmet needs—that require attention and healing.

In my practice, I encourage clients to be curious about their anger rather than fearing it. By slowing down, reflecting, and working through the underlying emotions, anger can transform from a reactive force into a powerful tool for self-understanding, boundary-setting, and emotional liberation.

True healing happens not when we silence anger, but when we listen to what it is trying to tell us.

]]><![CDATA[Understanding Self-Sabotage and the Instinctual Drives Behind It]]>Tue, 15 Oct 2024 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/understanding-self-sabotage-and-the-instinctual-drives-behind-it

Google image

We all have desires we wish to fulfil and goals we aim to achieve, often requiring clear and practical steps to reach them. Yet, we frequently undermine these aspirations ourselves. Self-sabotage is one of the most puzzling aspects of human behaviour.

This can range from small acts, like breaking a diet by indulging in a big piece of chocolate cake, to more significant decisions, such as entering a relationship we know is bound to end badly.

At its extreme, self-sabotage can manifest in highly destructive behaviours, like self-harm, risky actions, or addiction.

But why do we do this?

Why do we sometimes want things that are harmful to us? Why do we undermine our own goals or remain stuck in unhealthy relationships and destructive cycles? It doesn’t make sense to pursue something we know will lead to more suffering. So why do we continue to do it?

Self-sabotage is essentially getting in your own way. While that may seem like a simplified explanation, it captures the essence of self-sabotaging behavior.

When motivation slips and goals aren’t achieved, it only amplifies the negative self-talk, reinforcing feelings of worthlessness and the belief that you don’t deserve happiness or success.

It can often feel like a small but persistent force, driven by low self-esteem. It's that voice inside that whispers, “You’re not good enough, why bother, no one cares anyway.”

Google image

In my work as a psychotherapist, self-sabotaging behavior often surfaces as a key theme in sessions. It can be incredibly challenging for clients to face the aggressive side of human nature when they start to recognize their own destructive patterns. This awareness is often met with feelings of hopelessness, confusion, and, at times, an escalation of self-destructive behaviour fuelled by resentment.

People who self-sabotage may show behaviours like passive-aggressiveness, defensiveness, deflection, or withdrawal. At first, these actions might seem harmless, like sleeping in or having a few extra drinks in the afternoon. But soon, you realise you’re avoiding responsibilities, like spending time with family.

Over time, these behaviours can become ingrained patterns, such as procrastination (whether driven by anxiety, perfectionism, or indifference), substance abuse, avoiding social interactions, chronic lateness, intimacy issues, and fear of commitment. From a psychodynamic perspective, these behaviour aren’t random; they’re rooted in deeper, often unconscious conflicts.

The Role of the Unconscious Mind

In the psychodynamic approach, much of our behaviour is shaped by the unconscious mind, which safeguards repressed emotions, unresolved conflicts, and unmet needs. Self-sabotage can be seen as a compromise—where the mind tries to balance conflicting desires, needs, and defences.

On the surface, we may consciously aim for success, happiness, or healthy relationships, but underneath, unconscious fears or unresolved conflicts might be pulling us in the opposite direction.

In Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory, he suggested that our behaviors are driven by two fundamental instincts: life instincts, which lead to growth, reproduction, survival, and pleasure, and death instincts, which are the opposing force, driving destructiveness, self-sabotage, aggression, and the desire to return to a state of non-existence or peace through death. These opposing forces within the psyche influence both an individual’s behavior and their psychological development.

Self-sabotage can be seen as another expression of the death instinct, where a person unconsciously undermines their own success or wellbeing. This fits with Freud's theory that humans have an innate tendency toward self-destruction, even while pursuing life goals.

Understanding the Dualistic Nature

Unconscious resistance to success can often be linked to the death instinct, which may explain why some people, even when consciously striving for success, end up sabotaging their own efforts. This might come from a deep, unconscious fear or a sense of unworthiness, guilt, or even an unspoken desire to avoid the responsibilities or pressures that success brings.

Freud proposed that there’s a constant tension between life instincts (Eros) and death instincts (Thanatos). Self-sabotage can be seen as an expression of this conflict, where destructive tendencies overpower the life-affirming ones. For example, someone might procrastinate, engage in destructive relationships, or walk away from opportunities that could have otherwise been beneficial to them.

Common Unconscious Drives Behind Self-Sabotage:

1. Fear of Failure (or Success): Self-sabotage is often rooted in unconscious fears. Someone might fear failure due to deep feelings of inadequacy, leading them to avoid opportunities or procrastinate. Interestingly, the same behaviors can stem from a fear of success. The unconscious may associate success with increased pressure, the risk of losing relationships, or a sense of unworthiness.

2. Unresolved Childhood Conflicts: Early relationships, particularly with caregivers, shape our self-perception and behaviour. For instance, someone who faced criticism or neglect in childhood may internalize beliefs of being undeserving or unlovable. These unresolved conflicts can later manifest as self-sabotaging behaviours, like choosing unhealthy partners or undermining personal achievements.

3. Guilt and Shame: Unconscious feelings of guilt or shame can lead individuals to punish themselves, believing they don’t deserve happiness or success. This can result in self-sabotaging behaviours like procrastination, substance abuse, or staying in situations that perpetuate unhappiness.

4. Defence Mechanisms: The ego uses defence mechanisms to shield us from overwhelming anxiety. Self-sabotage can be seen as a form of these defenses. For example, displacement may cause someone to redirect unresolved anger toward their own goals or relationships, while reaction formation might push them to act in opposition to their true desires, leading them to sabotage their own progress.

Embracing the Enigma: Navigating the Cycle of Self-Sabotage

From a psychodynamic perspective, understanding and tackling self-sabotage means exploring the unconscious conflicts that drive these behaviours. Insight-oriented therapy, like psychodynamic or psychoanalytic therapy, helps uncover and process these hidden motivations.

In therapy, individuals can:
- Explore how early life experiences shape current behaviors
- Become aware of unconscious motivations and fears
- Recognise defence mechanisms that keep self-sabotaging patterns in place
- Learn healthier ways to manage anxiety, guilt, or fear

Self-sabotage often signals deeper, unresolved conflicts within us. The psychodynamic or psychoanalytic approach helps us understand how unconscious fears, guilt, and early life experiences contribute to these behaviours. By bringing these hidden elements to light, individuals can begin to break free from self-sabotaging patterns and move towards a more fulfilling, authentic life. Understanding self-sabotage from this perspective allows for real change, as we start to recognize and confront the deeper forces shaping our lives.

]]><![CDATA[The Role of Attachment Theory in Healing: Exploring the Psychotherapeutic Relationship]]>Sun, 12 May 2024 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/the-role-of-attachment-theory-in-healing-exploring-the-psychotherapeutic-relationship

Image: Google

Why therapy work is still an on-going discussion, but when it does work - it often mirrors the attachment dynamics found in good parenting.

Attachment theory, initially developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the mid-20th century, has had a profound influence on psychotherapy. This theory posits that the bonds formed between babies and their primary caregivers have a lasting impact on an individual's emotional and relational patterns throughout their life. In the context of psychotherapy, understanding attachment styles can greatly enhance the therapeutic process and outcome, especially when it comes to healing from emotional distress or trauma.

Image: Google

According to neurologist Dr. Allan Schore, attachment trauma—which includes the effects of neglect and abuse during early neurological development in infancy—results from a failed attachment relationship between a mother and her baby, leading to damage.

In this blog, I want to write why our defence mechanisms are so persistent, and why true, substantial change is both difficult and uncommon, but is possible. I would like to offer my personal perspective on how genuine change can occur, how this early damage can be somewhat healed, and what conditions are necessary for this healing to take place. While I don’t have scientific evidence to support these views, I can draw from my own experiences, having been a client in therapy for nearly 10 years and from my experiences working with my own clients in my practice.

In simple term, a successful and healing psychotherapy relationship involves several key elements. First, the therapist needs to be able to understand and share the client's feelings, endure the client's pain and confusion long enough to make sense of it, and then communicate their insights in a way that makes the client feel understood. One simple sentence encapsulates numerous elements. This requires a therapist who is comfortable handling various emotions, including anger, envy, and hatred, and who can cope with the client’s often deep-seated pain.

In dealing with challenges in mental health issues such as borderline personality disorder, therapists need significant emotional and psychological resilience. They must be able to handle intense feelings of terror, rage, and chaos without feeling overwhelmed. It's also essential for therapists to have undergone extensive psychotherapy themselves. Beyond this, they need skills to interpret these complex emotions and communicate their insights effectively. These skills are developed through quality training, supervision, and years of experience in therapy as well as practical experience. In my early years of practice, I understood quite a lot, but my explanations often seemed forced. I was overly focused on maintaining the ideal psychoanalytic stance, which sometimes made my clients feel "analysed" rather than understood. Over time, I learned how to communicate in a more empathetic manner.

Empathy, not sympathy, is crucial for effective healing interpretation. I've always been skilled at recognising unconscious rage and envy, but it took years for me to truly appreciate how painful those feelings can be. As transference develops, a therapist may become the target of intense and destructive attacks, such as enraged accusations or possessive expressions of "love". In such moments, it's challenging to remember the intense pain the client is experiencing. If a therapist cannot cope with these emotions themselves, it becomes difficult to make the client feel understood, safe, and accepted. However, if we can endure these painful emotions and provide empathic insights, we will gradually help our clients learn to tolerate these feelings within themselves, little by little, over time.

In this way, the therapist offers a type of emotional support similar to what a good mother would provide. In the secure attachment, caregivers are consistently available and responsive, in another words, it's the mother's role to accept the baby's projected feelings; like terror and anger, which the baby cannot understand or handle on its own. In a "good enough" attachment relationship, the mother responds properly to these projections, helping her baby learn to cope with them.

Image: Google

Dr. Allan Schore suggests this helps the brain develop more or less "normally," forming complex neural connections and building structure so that the child learns to understand and manage its own experiences. Years later, a therapist can attempt to compensate for a failed attachment relationship. The therapist can endure the client’s projections, try to understand their meanings, and respond appropriately. Gradually, over time, we can help our clients develop the mental capacity to understand and cope with their own experiences. It’s not the same as having had a "good enough" mother, and it won’t return our clients’ brains to a pre-damage state, but it can make a significant difference.

Some probably agree with what I have said so far. My views are based on the psychodynamic/psychoanalytic theory I studied during my training at Exeter university, the excellent supervision I received, and my years of therapy with an analyst who fully faced my pain, rage, hatred, and envy. She had a profound ability to hold me through my confusion, loss, and trying to finding my self and identity.

Without her help and patience, I wouldn't have developed the mental and emotional capacity I have today. I was lucky to find her, I wouldn't be where I am today without her assistance. I know she deeply cared about my wellbeing and emotionally invested in ways that were meaningful to her as well. It was within the context of this relationship — this new attachment relationship — that the healing occurred.

Image: Google

I believe in that a truly healing relationship involves a kind of love and commitment from both sides. When I accept a new client, especially someone facing serious issues, I take it very seriously; our relationship may last short or for many years and involve significant emotional demands. If our work is effective, my clients will form a strong attachment to me. Although the psychotherapy relationship means something different to each of us — it's primarily about the client’s life, not mine — we both need to care deeply about it. Over time, we will come to love each other. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable to say this.

While the love in therapy is different from the love between a mother and a baby, and it can't replace what was missing, it is still important and powerful. I believe that this kind of love in therapy offers the best chance for healing. Even if the brain didn't develop normally because the child lacked what it needed during a critical period, love and understanding in a later therapy relationship can still repair a lot of that damage. Perhaps my clients and I will never be "native speakers" of emotional language because we didn't get what we needed as infants, but that doesn't mean we can't become proficient in it.

]]><![CDATA[Unraveling Emotional Dependency In Psychotherapy]]>Mon, 23 Oct 2023 05:30:00 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/unraveling-emotional-dependency-in-psychotherapy

Image: Google

The perception of neediness and emotional dependency often carries negative connotation in our society: in psychotherapy; individuals, particularly those unfamiliar with the process, may hold a doubtful view of clients or patients who lean heavily on their therapist for support. There's even a cynical notion that therapists intentionally foster emotional dependency to gain an advantage. It's a prevailing belief that emotional dependency within psychotherapy is seen as undesirable.

Emotional dependency in psychotherapy is a nuanced and delicate aspect of the therapeutic relationship. It involves a client's reliance on their therapist for emotional support, validation, and guidance. Understanding and navigating this dependency is important for nurturing a healthy and transformative therapeutic experience. In this blog, I explore into the complexities of emotional dependency in psychotherapy and look into the sensitive of addressing it with compassion and insight.

Defining Emotional Dependency

Image: Google

Emotional dependency is a natural aspect of human connection. It arises when an individual look to another, often a therapist in the context of psychotherapy, for emotional sustenance, comfort, and validation. This reliance stems from a genuine need for support, often rooted in past experiences or present challenges.

In psychotherapy work, a certain level of emotional dependency is needed as part of the therapeutic process. Clients or patients struggle with profound pain and confusion, especially those with a history of unstable relationships, may find themselves relying on their therapist for an extended period. When life feels unmanageable, especially for individuals from troubled backgrounds lacking essential emotional tools and self-awareness, seeking and depending on external support becomes crucial for personal development. Without this foundation, progress and grow in therapy become nearly difficult to achieve.

It's important to note that most clients or patients entering therapy are not inherently willing or enthusiastic about developing emotional dependency. In fact, resistance to dependency is a common initial concern in therapy. Despite experiencing significant pain and a sense of hopelessness that prompts them to seek professional help, many clients struggle with the idea of depending on their therapist. This aversion often stems from early experiences in childhood, where vulnerability and neediness were associated with potential threat or hurt.

For individuals from difficult or less privilege backgrounds, the concept of needs often relates to frustration and disappointment, triggering anxieties related to abandonment and a sense of powerlessness when relying on others for what is needed. These clients may carry deep distrust about the genuine care and willingness of others to provide for their needs, which can be further complicated by the necessity to pay for psychotherapy services, leading them to question the genuineness of the therapist's concern.

These issues often surface early in the therapeutic process, revealing themselves through the transference. While many perceive the transference as a distortion of reality, such as reacting to the therapist as if they were a parent, it actually serves as a nature of a person's emotional struggles, offering a first-hand experience of the psychological challenges they battle with. So, if an individual holds an aversion to neediness and emotional dependency and struggles to establish consistent, meaningful relationships, these same difficulties will manifest in their therapeutic relationship with me in their treatment. They may attempt to maintain emotional distance, unreliable commitment. In such cases, my initial role often involves helping these clients recognise the consistent theme in their various relationships, both inside and outside of therapy - a profound struggle with tolerating their own needs.

In a recent case with my client work, these very issues took centre stage in our therapeutic relationship. Right from the beginning, my client expressed a fear of forming any form of dependency on me. Their past experiences were marked by both physical and emotional abandonment from their parents, leaving them with a doubt towards the reliability and goodness of others. They often struggle with the intense emotional disturbance with binge eating as a means coping mechanism, opting for food over human connection. Committing to our sessions proved to be a challenge; they struggled with committing our sessions, starting - then stopping therapy multiple times. This uncertainty sometimes led to abrupt session cancellations, accompanied by anxieties that I might allocate their time to another patient/client.

Image: Google

Rather than maintaining a therapeutic focus on interpretation, which involves helping them confront and tolerate their fears regarding emotional dependency, I made the mistake of extending open-ended support, regardless of whether they facilitate it. My intention was to reassure them and express my reliability, setting me apart from the unreliable figures in their life. However, they perceive this new setting frame of flexibility as to regulate their feelings of dependency, resulting in frequent cancellations. When I offered to reschedule, they expressed a preference not to make up sessions, as it allowed them to avoid feeling excessively dependent to me. It was at this occasion that I realised I had unconsciously given them a means to avoid the very dependency they needed to experience in order to make progress — specifically, in this client case; giving up their eating disorder and discovering healthier coping methods within the context of a therapeutic relationship.

When I realised of my mistake and revising my framework to no longer reserve a regular hour for them, but still maintaining an open availability for them to schedule sessions as needed, they became upset and ultimately chose to terminate our sessions. I can understand with their reaction; returning back the offer likely felt similar to another form of abandonment. You’d think that after over than 10 years of practice, I would have been able to avoid such mistakes, but this serves me as a humbling reminder of the complexity inherent in therapeutic dynamics.

This experience has been a humbling reminder that attempting to compensate for a lifetime of abandonment and indifference through changes in cancellation policy is a form of arrogance. In the future, when faced with similar challenges, I will endeavour to do what I should have done from the start: provide the client with what they truly need – a consistent and reliable presence, capable of setting reasonable limits and maintaining them.

]]><![CDATA[Understanding the Burden of Shame and Guilt]]>Thu, 12 Oct 2023 14:56:59 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/understanding-the-burden-of-shame-and-guilt

Understanding the Burden of Shame and Guilt

Shame and guilt are complex and often deeply ingrained emotions that can significantly impact our mental health and wellbeing. As a counsellor or psychotherapist at Misma Counselling Service, I believe it’s crucial to understand these emotions and explore how they can affect our lives. I think - for me, that the dynamics of shame and guilt is perhaps one of my reasons that lead me to want to study the mind, as I wished to understand the ability to undermine our pursuit of a good enough life.

Shame: The Feeling of Inadequacy

Shame is a powerful and painful emotion characterised by a profound sense of inadequacy, unworthiness, and self-loathing. It often arises from a belief that we are fundamentally damaged or morally wrong in some ways. Unlike guilt, which tends to focus on specific actions or behaviours, shame goes much deeper, attacking our very sense of self.

Shame can manifest in various ways, from social withdrawal and self-isolation to self-destructive behaviours like substances abuse, addictions or eating disorders. It can be especially challenging to cope with shame because it tends to be hidden in the shadows of our subconscious, influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours without us even realising it. As a therapist, I see how hard it is when patients realise such destructiveness expressed in shame which can take different shapes and forms. This painful realisation is often accompanied by confusion, hopelessness, and sometimes even more destructive resentment.

Guilt: The Weight of Responsibility

Guilt, on the other hand, is related to a specific action or behaviour that we perceive as wrong or hurtful. While guilt can serve as a healthy moral compass, prompting us to take responsibility for our action and make amends, it can also become overwhelming and harmful to our wellbeing.

Excessive guilt can lead to rumination, where we replay past mistake in our minds, creating a never-ending cycle of self-blame. This can be particularly complicated and difficult, affecting our self-esteem and causing anxiety and depression.

image: google

But why do we have these feelings? Why is that from time to time we feel overwhelmed and down, then we choose what’s bad for us, things will mess up aspect of our lives that we so much want to grow and develop? Why do we find ourselves tangled with unhealthy and destructive cycles, be them in behaviours or feelings? It’s just doesn’t make sense to pursue something that lead to suffering. Why so?

The Interplay Between Shame and Guilt

Shame and guilt are interconnected emotions that can reinforce each other. For instance, experiencing guilt for a perceived wrongdoing or fault can trigger feelings of shame if we internalise that wrongdoing as a reflection of our worthiness. On the other hand, unresolved shame from the past can make us more susceptible to feeling guilty, even for minor transgressions.

One important thing to recognise is the inner conflict, a struggle between the desire for feel valued and the fear of making mistakes. This conflict is met with counterproductive self-criticism. It’s akin to an internal version of Newton’s law, where every action is met with an opposing force, each driven by its own instinctual energy. While occasional self-doubt and mistakes are normal, if these feelings persist, they can impede our personal grow and wellbeing.

Freud can help us understand this conflict, a bit more. Freud suggested that real guilt comes from our hidden intentions. Doing something wrong isn’t what makes us feel guilty; it’s the awareness of our wrongful intentions. Legal guilt is about breaking the rules, while moral guilt is about our personal sense of right and wrong.

In his early theories, Freud talked about the “id”, which is the like part of us that interacts with the world around us. The “ego” then changes the environment so we can make the most of what it offers to satisfy our desires or needs. Later on, Freud (in 1923) introduced the word “superego” to describe the part of our mind that the ego adopts to help control the id. Freud studied the mind and how people behave, but there’s an underlying belief that human behaviour can be understood like the laws of physics, which predictable patterns.

In simple term, feeling guilty is like feeling anxious, especially when we’re torn between love and hate. It’s easy to see how guilt is connected to the inner struggle of loving and hating someone at the same time. Freud went even deeper to explain that these feelings are linked to our basic instincts.

In my therapy sessions, I often encounter various ways in which shame and guilt can affect people. These feelings are usual unconscious, and a big part of therapy process is helping patients to recognise and work through with the anxiety they bring.

I can give some simple examples of such unconscious meaning behind shame and guilt and what they do:

image: google

Neurotic: Some individuals, for some reasons, view a parent o a loved one as someone who has not succeeded in life, perhaps as someone weak or powerless. Unconsciously, they may form a kind of unhealthy attachment to this struggling parent. This can lead to feelings of shame and a determination never to surpass them. The idea of growing, improving and becoming better is then seen as something shameful, with a looming sense of guilt and punishment as a consequence. Achieving wellness is met with an internal judgement, enforced by a harsh and unkind part of the mind. Furthermore, some people believe that if they were to let go of this struggling figure they identify with, and try to create a separate, improved life, they would be contributing to their demise. For instance, they may worry the loved one might harm themselves, perhaps through excessive drinking. So, a life dominated by feelings shame and guilt unfolds, in all an attempt to avoid the greater destruction they fear would happen if they were to break this unhealthy attachment.

Punishment: Punishment through shame and guilt can be a way of penalising oneself. But what’s the crime? It’s for having desires, feelings, thoughts, or fantasies that are considered forbidden, and often harmful – thus to be pushed away from the unconsciousness. This helps the person avoid confronting certain destructive aspects of themselves, which may be directed towards loved ones. Inside us all, there exists a part that acts as our own internal judge, making us feel guilty if we go against our own set of rules. Freud termed this the “superego”, an internalised version of our parents that monitors and can punish us if we step out of line. Consequently, guilt arises from a demanding superego, penalising the person for what it believes is an internal transgression, which may not always align with external moral or legal standards.

Omnipotent: Some individuals may undermine their own progress as a defence against the unconscious fear of reaching great heights and attaining immense power, which in their imagination could unleash potential harmful aspects of themselves (like intense envy and greed). Consequently, some choose to stay in a state of powerless and weakness out of concern for potentially harming their loved ones. This sense of guilt acts like an internal safety mechanism, functioning as a form of self-protection.

Masochism: Masochism refers to finding a kind of weird satisfaction in feeling pain. So, in this case, shame and guilt can lead to a strange pleasure from hurting oneself or going through situation that cause pain and suffering.

Based on what I’ve seen in my therapy sessions and learned from my studies, it’s clear that shame and guilt can be harmful and also serve as a way to protect oneself. However, unless a person recognises the consequences of their self-undermining patterns and actively seeks to change them, it’s likely that shame and guilt will persist in their life.

Through psychotherapy, individuals have the opportunity to confront and understand the more harmful aspects of themselves. This process allows for these destructive feelings to be experienced, managed, and ultimately transformed within the therapeutic relationship. Patterns of shame and guilt are examined within the therapy setting, providing a change to unravel, process, and restructure them in the way the patient relates, behaves, and feels. Psychotherapy can also help find a balance between feelings of love and hate, lessening the destructive urges as they emerge in the therapeutic process.

]]><![CDATA[Nurturing Men’s Mental Health: An important Aspect of Overall Wellness]]>Mon, 02 Oct 2023 14:12:00 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/nurturing-mens-mental-health-an-important-aspect-of-overall-wellness

Image; Google

In our modern society, discussion around men’s health often focus on physical wellbeing, leaving mental health in the shadows. However, it’s crucial to recognise that mental health is just as important as physical health for leading a fulfilling and balanced life. In this blog post, we’ll look into the significance of men’s mental health, common challenges they face, and practical strategies to promote mental wellbeing.

Understanding the Stigma

Unfortunately, there still exists a pervasive stigma surrounding men’s mental health. Society often perpetuates the notion that men should be strong, stoic, unemotional, and resilient in the face of adversity. This expectation can lead to reluctance to seek help or discuss their feelings openly. It’s essential to break down these barriers and create a safe space for men to acknowledge and address their mental health.

Common Mental Health Challenges:

Depression and Anxiety: These are two of the most prevalent mental health disorder affecting men. The pressures of modern life, career expectations, family and personal relationships can contribute to these conditions. Recognising the signs of depression and anxiety, such as prolonged sadness, loss of interest, or excessive worrying, is the first step towards seeking help.
Work-related Stress: Men often shoulder a significant burden of responsibility in their professional lives. The demands of a competitive work environment can lead to stress, burnout, and in some cases, even more severe mental issues. Encouraging work-life balance and stress management techniques is crucial.
Relationship Struggles: Relationships difficulties, whether with partners, family, friends, or colleagues, can take a toll on mental health. Communication problems, unresolves conflicts, or feelings of isolation can lead to stress and emotional distress. Seeking counselling or support groups can be immensely beneficial.
Social Isolation: Despite being surrounded by people, men can sometimes feel isolated. This can occur due to various reasons, including a lack of close friendships, a reluctance to open up emotionally, or a sense of disconnection. Fostering meaningful relationship and finding avenue for social support is essential.

Strategies for Promoting Men’s Mental Health

Open Communication: encourage open and honest conversation about feelings and emotions. Let men know that it’s ok to express vulnerability and seek help when needed.
Regular Exercise: Physical activity has a profound impact on mental health. Regular exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Encourages activities like running, yoga and team sports.
Nutrition and Sleep: A balanced diet and adequate sleep are crucial for mental wellbeing. Encourage healthy eating habits and emphasise the importance of a consistent sleep schedule.
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help men become more aware of their thoughts and emotions, promoting a sense of calm and self-awareness. Encourage mindfulness exercise as part of their daily routine.
Seeking Professional Help: Normalise the idea of seeking help from mental health professionals. Therapy or counselling can provide valuable tools and coping mechanisms for dealing with mental health challenges.
Community and Support Groups: Connecting with others who are experiencing similar challenges can be immensely comforting and empowering. Encourage participation in support groups or community activities.

Prioritising men’s mental health is an important step towards achieving holistic wellbeing. By breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health, understanding the common challenges men face, and promoting healthy coping strategies, we can create a supportive environment where men feel empowered to take charge of their mental wellbeing. Remember, it’s not a sign of weakness to seek help; it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. Together, we can foster a culture of mental health awareness and support.

#men's mental health awareness #mentalhealthawareness #mensmentalhealth

]]><![CDATA[The Relation Between Emotional Avoidance and Eating Disorders.]]>Mon, 09 Jan 2023 18:40:16 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/connection-between-emotional-avoidance-and-eating-disorders

"I was able 'to sit' with my feelings and emotions. I no longer have the need to binge or purge this emotions" shared my client who worked through their eating disorders.

Understanding eating disorders can be challenging if you haven't experienced them yourself. While many are familiar with anorexia and bulimia, there are lesser-known disorders like AFRID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). Diagnosing these disorders is complex due to the overlapping symptoms, and they may manifest differently at various stages of one's life.

If you're experiencing symptoms of an eating disorder like extreme anxiety around food, avoiding certain foods, or binge eating, it's important to understand that it's not your fault. In fact, studies suggest that about half of the risk for eating disorders can be attributed to genetic factors. These disorders are typically caused by a combination of factors, including genetics, personality traits, and external influences like trauma, cultural ideals, social pressure, or other mental health conditions.

Feelings of anxiety, loneliness, depression, a sense of loss of control, and low self-esteem can all be warning signs of an eating disorder. However, a common thread among people with these disorders is difficulty in expressing and coping with their emotions or feelings.

The link between emotion avoidance
and eating disorders

Emotion avoidance involves actions aimed at stifling any emotional reaction, be it anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, or loneliness. Those struggling with eating disorders often turn to constant eating or abstaining from food as an automatic way to deal with their feelings and seek relief. Using eating disorders to numb emotions is typically a response to negative emotions and unresolved trauma, especially situations that haven't been addressed or processed in a healthy manner.

Treatment

Treatment for eating disorders encompasses a range of techniques and approaches aimed at aiding patients in their recovery journey and enhancing their overall wellbeing. An essential component is teaching them how to recognise and navigate their emotions, rather than avoiding uncomfortable emotional states.

Additionally, individuals with eating disorders may struggle with accurately identifying their emotions and responding to overwhelming emotional distress. Treatment may involve addressing physical growth and managing nutrition, working on feeling at ease eating in the presence of others, reducing fear of choking or vomiting, and developing a healthier relationship with food to lessen anxiety around eating.

For younger children, desensitisation therapy, particularly the 'playtime' approach, is often employed to help them become more comfortable with the sensory aspects of food. Another technique, exposure therapy, aims to reduce the anxiety associated with certain foods through relaxation exercises and discussions about the avoided items. It also focuses on acquiring positive coping mechanisms for food-related fears and anxieties. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy widely used for various mental health conditions, addresses the negative thought patterns and behaviour that may underlie eating disorders.

Psychotherapy or talking therapy frequently utilised in eating disorder treatment, helping individuals exploring their difficult emotions and feelings.

Image : Google

Getting Help

It's important to communicate to patients that their eating disorder behaviors often serve as coping mechanisms to regulate their emotions. While these behaviours may have provided temporary relief from difficulties and traumas, they aren't long-term solutions.

Seeking help from family, friends, or professionals like doctors or therapists is crucial. With proper treatment, support, and family involvement, individuals with eating disorders can develop a healthier relationship with themselves, food, and their bodies. Ultimately, part of leading a fulfilling life is being able to navigate and experience the full range of emotions, both positive and challenging.

]]><![CDATA[Covid-19: When social distancing can turn to stigma.]]>Mon, 06 Apr 2020 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.mismacounsellingservice.com/blog--podcast/covid-19-when-social-distancing-can-turn-to-stigmaThe current pandemic is leaving many of us anxious and worried. Uncertainty and the unknown shake our basic life routines, we loose our life structures, leaving us feeling confused and lost. Confusion and loss can create a negative imagination and this is fear. The fear of contagion and the virus can impact on our psychological responses.

Right now, we know Covid-19 has separated us, divides families, jobs, and cities; stripping our existence as social human being. Our lives have been disrupted in body, mind and spirit.

Coronavirus has occupied our thinking, in news, radio, tv and social media, with frighting death statistics and daily updates. This constant exposure of news can result in heightened anxiety with an immediate effect on our mental health. The constant feeling of threat can deeply effect our psychology response. The fear of contagion may lead us to become over-anxious and less accepting of the 'normal' such as being tactile, hugging or visiting others. Our moral judgement becomes harsher and our social attitudes more conservative during these times. Outcries on social media and news outlets show that people are more ready to judge and condemn behaviour that until yesterday was 'normal' - it is amazing how quickly the jump to the new moralising behaviour becomes.

Sadly, researchers have found that stigma has worsened the suffering from every major infectious disease epidemic in our human history, and no doubt, it will certainly play a role in current Covid-19 pandemic. Remember when AIDS and HIV occurred among us, who were the group of people we judged and discriminated against?

Stigma is an evolutionary response that our mindset has ingrained to our physical response: we will distance ourselves from others who could infect us. This whole suite of response is called 'parasite avoidance' , defensive strategies to prevent ourselves from contracting infection disease (reducing infection risk). The reactions are what make us feel threatened by signals of sickness, such as coughing, vomiting or sneezing; whether or not these signals indicate an actual threat to our own health.

Since humans are social beings that have evolved to live in big groups, 'parasite avoidance' modifies our interaction with people when infections occur to minimise the spread of the disease, resulting spontaneous social distancing.

The response could be quite harsh!.

There is also a moral as well as physical element. We tend to believe that 'bad things happen to bad people'. There is so called 'karma' - that misleads us into thinking that people who are infected by the disease may have done something wrong to deserve it - i.e. they may have not followed the advice from the government, didn't wash their hand long enough, didn't social distance enough, or led a somehow unhealthy life etc. This belief is psychologically comforting, helping us to believe that we are in control of our own life. It tells us that if we do everything right, we WON'T become infected. Yet, we simply don't live in this a just world: we can do anything right, we wash our hand for 30-60seconds, instead of 20 - and still become infected with Covid-19.

Stigma

Research shows stigma causes harm to our physical and mental health. Stigma can take forms of social rejection, gossiping, physical violence, or rejection of services. People who experience stigma from others can experience heightened depression, anxiety, stress, substance misuse or can even lead to suicide.

Even people who don't experience stigma from others have their perception negatively affected - perhaps they have seen 'sick' people and judge this as sickness. This can lead to anxiety and stress. People who are infected, maybe internalise this stigma that maybe they did something wrong to be infected with this virus. Especially, with Covid-19, people who infected are medically isolated which maybe cause a greater distress; to them and to their family and friends.

Stigma impacts on everybody, to the extent that not only to the people who infected with the disease also to people who have an actual or perceived association with the disease. With Covid-19, at the beginning of this year, racism directed toward certain ethnicity, where this virus started.

Social distancing not social isolating

Education is the most popular tool to breakdown stigma. Education can deconstruct the stereotype. We know our immune system varies from individual to individual which means not everyone is affected to the same degree. In this regard, news and social media can help to lift the stereotype; Covid-19 doesnt discriminate, from celebrities like Idris Elba or Tom Hanks, to our Prime Minister- Boris Johnson - we all can get infected.

In this regard therefore, we all play an important role in removing the stigma during a pandemic. Indeed, we can all try to be resilient by remotely socially supporting each other - sending a text or calling your family or neighbour, reconnecting with others, 'virtually' having house party using apps.

We can check remotely on our family, friends or neighbours. We also can think of talking openly about the mental health struggles we are all facing - this opportunity to talk to others about stressors including stigma can promote coping and mental wellbeing.

Stigma divides us and turns us against each other but pandemics remind us how connected we are all. Even thinking about a situation like a pandemic can make people value conformity; we share our vulnerability and in this situation this becomes our solidarity. It is the Coronavirus we are fighting - not the people.

Sources:
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200401-covid-19-how-fear-of-coronavirus-is-changing-our-psychology
https://www.khaleejtimes.com/editorials-columns/kt-edit-social-distancing-real-fears-in-the-age-of-covid-19
https://hbr.org/2020/04/dont-let-fear-of-covid-19-turn-into-stigma

]]>

Unseen Narratives That Emerge During the Holiday Season

Reactivation of Early Attachment Wounds

Grief and Disenfranchised Losses

A Season That Asked for Psychological Kindness

Holding Ourselves with Compassion​

A Tender Mirror

Understanding Anger Through a Trauma Lens

Different Ways Anger Manifests After Trauma

Anger in the Therapeutic Relationship: ​A Psychodynamic Perspective

Healing Anger: Moving from Reaction to Reflection

Final Thoughts​

The Role of the Unconscious Mind

Understanding the Dualistic Nature

Common Unconscious Drives Behind Self-Sabotage:

Embracing the Enigma: Navigating the Cycle of Self-Sabotage

Why therapy work is still an on-going discussion, but when it does work - it often mirrors the attachment dynamics found in good parenting.

​Defining Emotional Dependency

Understanding the Burden of Shame and Guilt

​Shame: The Feeling of Inadequacy

​Guilt: The Weight of Responsibility

The Interplay Between Shame and Guilt

​Understanding the Stigma

Common Mental Health Challenges:

​Strategies for Promoting Men’s Mental Health

The link between emotion avoidance ​and eating disorders

Treatment

Getting Help

Stigma

Social distancing not social isolating

Holding Ourselves with Compassion

Anger in the Therapeutic Relationship:
A Psychodynamic Perspective

Final Thoughts

Defining Emotional Dependency

Shame: The Feeling of Inadequacy

Guilt: The Weight of Responsibility

Understanding the Stigma

Strategies for Promoting Men’s Mental Health

The link between emotion avoidance
and eating disorders